Jokes

The Oil Field Night Before Christmas by Bill Rodgers ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the patch, Not a roughneck was stirring, not even to scratch. The drill pipe was stacked by the derrick with care, In hopes a new drill bit soon would be there. It had…

Halloween is Coming! Halloween is lurking around the corner.  Here are some of the worst Halloween costumes you might see.  TOP FIVE WORST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES: 5. Zombie Massage Therapist 4. Frankenstein Karaoke Singer 3. Incredible Hulk Customer Service Rep 2. Bloodsucking Vampire IRS Agent And the number one worst Halloween costume: 1. Edward Scissorhands Proctologist…

Football is Here! The NFL season has finally started.  But while you’re cheering for your favorite team, it’s interesting to note that many original team mascots have been changed over the years.  Here’s a few that didn’t last. TOP FIVE REJECTED TEAM MASCOTS: 5.  Chicago Chia Pets 4.  Philadelphia Philanderers…

Tweeter-in-Chief! President Trump is the first president known for using Twitter to blast out his message.  Ever wonder what George Washington would have tweeted? Now, through the magic of Internet algorithms, we know!   Top 5 Tweets by @realGeorgeWashington:   5. That British town crier keeps yelling fake news! Sad! #TownLiar…

  Keep Your Cool This 4th of July! Top 3 things to wear to beat the heat on the 4th of July:   3. Haagen Dazs hat   2. Popsicle Speedo   And the number 1 thing to wear to beat the heat:   1. Sno Cone bikini top Now…

  Summer’s Coming! Top 3 ways you know you’ve gotten too much sun:   3. Your body sets off the smoke detector.   2. Your skin smells like someone is frying Spam.   and the No. 1 way you know you’ve gotten too much sun:   1. You’re so red,…

Time changes everything! Here’s an example from History Retweets Itself: Rock and Roll Edition. PUNK September 2, 1980 On this day… American punk rock band Dead Kennedys released their first album, Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables. Among their most popular songs are “Holiday In Cambodia” and “Police Truck.” The original lead…

The origins of April Fools’ Day go back as far as the Roman Festival of Hilaria. Now, it’s celebrated by normally well-behaved people pulling horrible pranks on their friends, expecting all to be forgiven when they yell, “April Fools!”  &nbsp But wouldn’t it be great if some things ACTUALLY WERE…

Sneak Peek! MARCH 9, 1970 On this day… British rock singer Ozzy Osbourne performed with Black Sabbath in their first public concert. In 1979, he began his solo career. Often called the Prince of Darkness, some of Ozzy’s best-known songs include “Bark at the Moon” and “Crazy Train.”  During a…

Following is an excerpt from History Retweets Itself: Rock & Roll Edition. Available February, 2017. Watch for it! JANUARY 8, 1935 On this day… Elvis Presley, the King of Rock & Roll, was born in a two-room shack in Tupelo, Mississippi. He went on to become not only one of the…